Life is Precious

This afternoon while driving back to work from a meeting in Idaho Falls I got a call from my boss, "Hayley, I need you to go take care of things in Rexburg for the rest of the day and maybe through next week." I knew I was going to be taking over things there in a few weeks but hadn't even started getting familiar with how things ran there or the kids and their individual needs.  It turned out the woman who I was supposed to replace, who was due to have a baby in six weeks, had gone to the doctor this morning to find out there wasn't a heartbeat for her baby. 

After quite a day of running around getting to know the kids and their needs, taking care of paperwork and preparing for meetings tomorrow with parents of the kids I didn't know, I drove home, all the while the heartbreak of her situation hanging over my head.  While waiting for my husband to take a break off work for dinner I picked up a children's book that I had in my car (it was a gift for this same woman for her baby shower that was supposed to be that night).  It's a book I grew up with and will always read and sing to my own children.  It's titled "Love You Forever." 

It's the story of a mother who raises her son throughout the book.  As she raises him and throughout her frustrations and joys, as he's a sleeping baby, a crazy 2-year old, a playful 9-year old, a wild teenager and a grown man, no matter his age, size or location she crawls into his room while he's sleeping, picks him up and rocks him back and forth and as she rocks him she sings, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."  It's such a sweet and simple, short book full of the love of a parent and the child in return (you'll have to read it to find out the ending). 

I sat there thinking about the song the mother sang, how my mom sang it when I was young, and how my neices now sing it because their dad sings it to them as they go to bed.  But my mom and my brother changed the words.  They sing, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, Now and Forever my baby you'll be." 

Life is precious and eternal.  Sometimes in the midst of our plans with our loved ones we find out the Lord has other plans.  Like my friend, we're not always able to physically rock our babies or loved ones and sing to them or express how much we love them.  Sometimes they live far away and sometimes they pass on to the next life and aren't physcially with us anymore.  At these times the version my family sings is very appropriate, "NOW and FOREVER..."  Life is hard, period, and is harder when we can't see our loved ones and hold them tight and keep them safe.  But with the knowledge of the plan of salvation we can have hope that we'll hold them again, or for the first time and forever for my friend. 

I'm grateful for the people in my life.  They have made me who I am, and continue to shape me by their love, support, happiness and personalities.  Even though experiences like these are heartbreaking, I'm grateful for them because they cause me to hold my husband and other loved ones tighter (even though I may not sing to them).  I hope that I never get too busy, distracted or tired to show that their lives are precious to me, as they're here physically and when they're not. 

Love and family is NOW and FOREVER.

Take a Breath

Tonight after taking Justin dinner in the rain I went to fill up my car with gas just as it was stopping.  By the time my car was full the sky was turning blue again, the clouds an array of color, and there was a complete double rainbow streaking across the sky.  They were huge and so close!  I felt like if I drove for just a bit then I could find both ends of it on each side.  I tried to take some pictures but just am not a master at that.  Justin, however, sent me this picture just a little while later.  It's not the complete rainbows, but it's an incredible picture just the same. 

We're surrounded by beauty.  The world we live in may be chaotic and rushed, but moments like today are amazing and help me take a breath, slow down and be grateful for the beauties around.  Take a moment to slow down and enjoy the incredible beauties around you. 

 

Dream the Dream

Since I was a little girl I remember listening, watching and reading about Les Miserables, the incredible book by Victor Hugo and broadway play with AMAZING music.  My sister, Traci, and I would act the play out with barbies in our room, featuring us as the singers for probably every part. 

Well the rule in my family was that in order to see the play you had to read the book.  Les Mis came to Salt Lake when I was probably 10 or so and as much as I'd acted out the play with barbies and knew every song, I hadn't read the 1,500 page book, or the abridged version at 1,000 pages.  As a 10 year old, imagine that.  So, I stayed behind as Traci and Scott went with my parents (they finished the book on the way to dinner before the play).  Their excitement about how amazing it was just motivated me even more to read the book so I could go. 

Years later, after having read both the abridged and unabridged versions a few times each, I still hadn't had the chance to see my beloved Les Mis, though I am no longer acting it out with barbies.  (No, my parents aren't neglectful or bad with promises, Les Mis hasn't been back to Salt Lake and a trip to France isn't always the easiest.)

Well it's obvious what this is leading to.... for years I "dreamed the dream" and finally I got to live it!  Woo hoo!  Les Mis came to Salt Lake and it was practically perfect from my dreams!  From knowing the original music so well I worried that I would be disappointed hearing other people, but it was fabulous!  I could've gone on stage and sung along with them!  My only disappointment was not having the turning stage that Les Mis is famous for, but what do you expect when it's a traveling broadway play in the states now?  Even without it I loved it! 

Justin, who isn't the hugest fan of musicals, came with me and even enjoyed it too!  He didn't know much about Les Mis before me, but has a full knowledge now and has even randomly started singing a song from it every now and then.

We went to Lagoon the day before and had a blast at Lagoon-A-Beach as well as on the rides.  We had a bit of a scare in thinking we lost his wedding ring, but our great landlord checked in our apartment for us and found that Justin had left it in the shower.  After that we were able to really relax and find our inner-kids again, renewing our love for roller coasters and big-time thrills.  Their new roller coaster, "Wicked" is super fun and different, at least for the first half of the ride. 

Whether it's seeing a play, having a family, starting a business, writing a book or whatever, no matter how old you are or how long you've "dreamed the dream" make it happen!  Then move onto the next and enjoy life!

Just Thinking....(lots of thoughts)

Justin is off working through the night so I get the lovely pleasure of going to bed by my lonesome...oh joy right?  Who would've thought that after just 6 months of marriage I would struggle sleeping at night if he wasn't close by?  Can't help lovin' that man :)  Needless to say, here I sit, late at night, trying to keep myself entertained because I can't sleep and he won't be home till morning. 

Life has been so busy lately that I haven't spent much time reading or "blog-stalking."  But this week i've read letters from my missionary brother, a letter from my older brother to my grandpa who passed away, and blog posts of people I love and admire.  Coincidence or not, and I think not, what i've read has been right in with thoughts I've been having lately, so I thought it necessary to say something about it.  

CHANGE...

Change can be a beautiful thing, expected and planned or not.  Life changes when we start and finish school, change jobs, move places, start a diet, make investments, have children, lose loved ones, and in so many other ways.  I've personally had so many incredible experiences with change that have helped me grow, learn and live life more fully in the end. 

I've been through changes like:
             My best friend falling in love, getting married and moving on to stages I couldn't follow her in
                                                 Dropping everything and going on a mission for the Lord, then allowing myself to be molded into the woman and servant He needed me to be
                Taking a step in following one of hundreds of interests for a career and just hoping it'd work
                       Living with a man  :)                                 Graduating college with many decisions ahead
Pursuing an actual career                                 First death of a person I really knew and loved
                                  Giving my full heart to someone and getting it back from him
                                                        and
           Seasons being longer than planned and the sun finally coming out :)

Looking back, some of these times have been really hard and some not as much. I do appreciate the changes that have come into my life because I've grown so much.  I shouldn't be afraid of change because I know it so well, but here's a secret.....I am.

There's a lot of exciting opportunities and changes ahead for Justin and I in the next few weeks, months and years, but life is just soooo good right now that it's hard to feel entirely gung-ho about really anything different. We do have stresses that can be intense but are pretty laid-back, we laugh and smile all the time and are free to be dorks (though I don't know if that'll ever change :) , do so many things and we can really fix most problems that come up.                                             

Life is beautiful!  (My sister's words, but it's true!)

What I'm afraid of are not the structural changes, like our schedules, our jobs, our home, and other things, though those can be scary too.  I'm most afraid of US changing from our beautiful life along with the other changes.

A woman I really admire lost her baby last year in an accident and since then has noticed a lot of changes, in herself, her husband, their relationship, dreams, and everything else. It was a huge change and trajedy for them that it's no wonder so much was affected and so deeply.  Her words say it so well and is especially what I'm afraid of, through her same situation or another. 

She said,
"For months I haven't been able to look at pictures from before the accident. I miss the light and happiness in our eyes, especially his. I can see we laughed more often, life seemed so light and happy. Now, when looking at pictures of myself I want to scream and warn myself to not take those precious moments for granted. To hold my baby and never let go. And when I look at those pictures I realize that before the accident there was never a problem that I couldn't really fix. Now, I realize that there is nothing I can do to fill that gaping hole in my heart.

Now, not all change happens to this heartbreaking extent, and when it does I know the Lord will strengthen us to be able to bear it in some form as he's strengthened her, but things still change and can be difficult.  Maybe I'm just taking a sentimental moment while my husband is away to be grateful for him and all the other changes that've happened in my life to make it so beautiful right now.  Either way, it is how it is- change can be super exciting but very scary and either way we need to move forward with it and take the opportunities that are right to help us grow.  Life goes on and if it changes from beautiful to something else for awhile, there is always the hope and promise that it will be beautiful again, a different beautiful but beautiful nonetheless.   

I may still be afraid of changes when I expect them or anticipate them, and life is guarunteed to be hard at times.  But, throughout it all the sun does shine one way or another and everything will work out for the best in the grand scheme of things. 

To keep life beautiful when change happens, create it that way for every minute of every day.

Terrible, I Know

Okay, so for the few of you who do stalk blogs and happen to come across mine every once in a while, I apologize for the terrible lack of updates.  Since we've been married, and I guess pretty much most of my blogging experience has come in spurts.  I have kindly been reminded about this and will promise to do better!  Afterall, my life is extremely exciting.

It's super late tonight, however, I just got home and Justin's almost home so I'm going to keep this short, but here's a bit of our excitement lately. 

Justin turned the big 2-3 at the beginning of this month and we were just itching for some good weather and to "get outta dodge."  With school at 7:45 am till work ending at 11 pm on his birthday we didn't get much celebrated but headed for Jackson Hole that weekend.  Happy Birthday babe!  (He quickly blew it out so the hotel fire alarms didn't go off)

Cinnamon roll and candles.....naturally!

My strong modern man facing oldtime bullies

With the whole weekend consisting of picnics in the park, dinner in bars, sunshine and sunburns, old time photos, swimming, browsing real stuffed animals, following a moose, and avoiding mudslides and geese droppings, it was a relaxing weekend we both needed.  Though we weren't able to go on any hikes, because we'd still have to use snow shoes, we had a great adventure together.    Life is good!

And they begin...

When I started this blog I had to come up with a title, naturally, so I asked my friends for suggestions.  Because of my awesomeness one of them suggested I put something about all my mishaps that just happen because I'm me, hence the MISHAPS part of the old title.  Well, I've been doing pretty good lately and haven't been having my normal mishaps, maybe its been Justin's influence.  However, with my last post I updated not just the post but my whole blog, including changing the name since it's not just me anymore :) and I should've figured they'd be consequences but lalaa land is still hanging around so....the mishaps have begun again.

Let me share just a few:

#1- during our "Valentine Celebration" Justin and I were making a fun dessert at home together.  He was looking in the freezer while I opened up the fridge to get something out and as I bent down I was knocked to the ground by a package of frozen beef clunking on top of my head.  No, my husband isn't beating me, he didn't even touch the meat to knock it out, it just fell on his own.  We laughed ourselves silly about practically being knocked out by meat. 

#2- while feeling ambitious one day I attempted to bake my grandma's famous rolls and cinnamon rolls.  They really are famous, we horde them for ourselves whenever she makes them before anyone else can, and we're trying to get her to sell them too.  Anyway, the rolls didn't turn out too bad and the cinnamon rolls went into the oven looking delicious.  About halfway through cooking I realized I hadn't put the cinnamon in the cinnamon rolls....yeah, they're just sugar rolls now, which isn't bad but...yeah. 

Oh, and here's another I thought I'd share because maybe Justin isn't so much the cause of my stop to mushaps. 

Mishap #3- in October, the week before Justin and I got engaged I successfully wrecked my car for the 2nd time that month, the only 2 times in the past 6 years. I'd just gotten done trying on a wedding dress my Mom had had her eye on and was in my own little world. 

Maybe the hassle, headaches and loads of money were why I've played it safe since then but, it begins again...

(P.S. I'm open for more suggestions on a title, since changing mine brought mishaps back)

The Perfect Fairytale

Little girls are fed fairytales from such young ages.  Stories of independent women and romantic, handsome men who fall madly in love and live happily ever after.  These fairytales cause typical little girls to dream of having their own.  They dream of their prince, the initial meeting and proposal, and actual wedding with its colors, lights, flowers, pictures and everything.  I too have always loved the classic Disney fairytales and definitely love my dose of chick flicks and love stories.  I admit, I have dreamt of the fairytale for myself and how incredible it would be to fall madly in love with someone and live happily ever after.  However, for some reason I've always been so opposed to being a typical girl in deciding on how everything was going to happen.  Maybe it's because I was so afraid it just might not, if I chose colors and flowers I wanted, names for my kids and all of that.

Now, if you can believe it, I'm almost 25, near "old maid" age in my culture :) and though I didn't dare to choose specifics for my fairytale, it came true and happened better than I could've planned.  I haven't written for a while because Justin and I have been basking in our fairytale, but let me tell you, our day was perfect and started out an eternal fairytale.

It was snowing and beautiful on December 18, 2010.  Some family members and friends weren't able to make it because of storms in Utah, but those who did come came for a celebration.  We are so grateful for so many loved ones, family and friends, who did come to celebrate with us and for all of their help throughout our lives.  My neighbor, a man we both really admire, was able to perform our sealing, giving us wonderful advice and pronouncing on us the most incredible blessings we can have in this life and for the eternities.  WIth the priesthood and gospel of Jesus Christ, we are so blessed to make covenants and receive such incredible blessings. 

We had smiles from ear to ear throughout the ceremony and all day, and we both held it together pretty well, I'd say, throughout the sealing until our dear loved ones came to visit with and congratulate us.  All I can say is that we are so blessed with amazing family and friends who are so full of love, and who we love so much.  We were there on that perfect day, together and so happy, because of the help of them and others who couldn't make it. 

Weddings are a lot of work but Sally, our wedding planner, and my Mom led the way and pulled it off with flare!  With Sally doing decorations, Scott and Cassi on the music, my Mom making it all come together and so many other's help, the dinner and reception was a party.  Our dinner and program were wonderful, especially the toasts and special song from my neices.  The decorations were classy and fun, and with amazing food and music, the party kept going even after Justin and I's send-off that included 32" sparklers! (Yes, yes we did)

Here's some pictures to give you a better idea of what a perfect way our fairytale really started on December 18!  Though I didn't try to dream it, it was more than I could've ever imagined, and life is continuing on that way as I have my husband by my side!  (sorry some pictures are sideways, but it was the only way I could get it to show the whole pictures on some of them). 

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