Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Let Them Speak, and then Listen

In my work with children who have disabilities I learn many different things.  I'm always on my toes because you never know what kind of day it's going to be, and things change as the day goes on as well.  It's definitely preparing me to be a better mother when the opportunity comes, but overall my interactions with these kids is making me a better person.  

I have my days when I'm tired, frustrated and impatient.  I get tired of kids trying to push me around and needing to constantly manage behaviors, being one of the few firm hands in some of the children's lives and them fighting me every step of the way. However, there are always breakthrough moments in my day that keep me going.  These are times when the child's eyes light up for a moment because you just did something that really connects with them, they stop their behaviors for a moment and are in control of themselves, they make a connection with a task or concept they've been working on, they understand that they've succeeded, and so many other types of moments.  

Children are incredible, all of them.  Lately I've been learning a lot about acceptance.  There are a few severely autistic children who I work with and design programs for.  People with autism can be very difficult for some people to be around because tendencies and behaviors, both good and bad, are "different, weird, unusual, and even disturbing."  These tendencies cause many people to be afraid of, to look down on, or even criticize the individuals with autism or other disabilities, with no acceptance shown.  In my research and application of therapy lately I've found that the principle of SHOWING ACCEPTANCE leads to leaps and bounds of progress with people, particularly these special kids.  It's the age old, "don't judge a book by it's cover" principle because typically once you can get past the acceptance stage, you'll be surprised the incredible talents, intelligence, humor and other things that come out if you let it.  

If you think about it, when your parents, friends and others give you time to express yourself and respond to you, join with you in things you like to do, support you when you're working on something and show excitement when you succeed, you want to keep them around and respond back to them.  It's how relationships are formed in a "normal" setting, but a lot of people don't realize that that's how you can create a relationship and help people who aren't so "normal."

Last week we showed this video to our employees.  It has inspired me and I hope it does you too.  

It's not just about the kids with disabilities, though they are incredible and showing we accept them will drastically improve their lives.  It's about relationships, period.  If we believe in love and acceptance, if we want that for ourselves, then we need to show it and not just feel it for others.  That's how we make our marriages strong and not so difficult like people say they are.  It's how we help our family relations, friendships, and every interaction with a stranger on the street or in the store a fun, loving and building opportunity.  Life is good and we're in it to strengthen one another and be strengthened.  If we can show that acceptance and love to those in our personal worlds, then life will be easier to enjoy and smiles will come more naturally, and there's nothing bad about that.  

Monday, January 23, 2012

Lesson from a 5 year old

Last night while at my parents home for Sunday dinner we were hanging around the kitchen visiting when my 5 year old neice came up the stairs crying and almost in hysterics.  Kayt told us she had gotten a bad sliver from the firewood downstairs (my dad had lit a fire in the fireplace and the girls had helped out). 

Tweezers and needle were both found quickly, all the while my neice continued to get more hysterical at the thought of putting a needle in her finger.  Her mom and I, as well as my mom, all tried to reassure her and explain the process in different ways so she would realize things would be okay and the needle would actually help her.  Her cries only got louder. 

Once her mom was ready for action with needle in hand, she tried to hold Kayt's hand to get to work on the sliver but Kayt refused to give her hand up.  She pulled and squirmed like crazy, all the while crying and saying she had to do something first.  I was about ready to get up to help Kris hold her to get the sliver out when Kayt folded her arms and started to pray. 

"Dear Heavenly Father, please help get the sliver out of my finger and that I will be okay and that it won't hurt...." and she went on. 

When her prayer was done she gave her mom her finger, covered her eyes and started counting.  By the time she got to 10 her voice was noticeably calmer.  She continued counting until the sliver was out of her finger and was completely calm. 

Through the hysterics of life it can be easy to freak out and act irrationally.  It's also easy to lose patience with ourselves and others as well.  Sometimes when bad things happen we find ourselves working calmly and surely to manage and improve it, all the while learning and growing and letting our rough edges become more smooth.  Sometimes we crumble. 

Kayt's 5, actually I think she just turned 6.  She taught me a lot yesterday.  She showed that when bad things happen you can turn Heavenly Father, talk to him and ask for help, and then take a deep breath and do what you need to do to help your prayer come true.  I forget to apply this pure and simple principle more often than I'd like to admit, but am so grateful I have amazing neices who have helped me remember this and many other important things over the years.  I hope I can be the aunt and later, Mom, who can help these types of strong spirits to thrive. 

Monday, January 9, 2012

Telephone Charades

Over Christmas break Justin and I had my whole family over for dinner and games.  Both of my sisters were in town and, since everyone else wasn't as busy, it being the holidays, they were able to make it too! We had a BLAST!!
The night was filled with music and laugher as everyone took a turn playing different parts in the family band, nerf darts with the little girls, and showing our true side in charades. 






Though some were fighting colds, full stomachs, embarrassment or all of the above, how else can family help than doing things to help you relax and forget it all!
We played Telephone Charades as well as Clue Charades and both versions were way funny.  The following videos are from telephone charades as it travels through each member of the team.  See if you can quess what movie it is.
Kristen part 1
Kristen part 2
Brad
Scott
Jeff


Thanks everyone for such a memorable night!  Though we don't all live close, it's always an amazing time when we get together!  Love you all.