REAL BABY #1!!!

Most of you probably didn't notice the caption for the last photo of Desoto on the last post, the one saying he was 17 weeks.  I don't know about you, but most people don't track their dogs' age by how many weeks they are and I'm not just being weird. :) You see, we picked up Desoto after a week or so of thinking we were expecting, but didn't take a test until a week or so AFTER we picked him up because of all the hype with him.  Eventually I figured out that Desoto, my dog baby, is probably within a week or so of how far along my actual baby is, hence the 17 weeks.  

Baby at 12 weeks

It's true! I'm 17 weeks along tomorrow!! It's a very surreal feeling and completely crazy that Justin and I are actually going to be parents!  I'm terrified and excited all at the same time, but it's going to be amazing and is something that we have always been looking forward to and preparing for.

Not a fan of the baby bump pictures when I'm looking more chubby than anything, but there you have it...starting to show a bit at 15 weeks. 

 Similar to when Justin proposed, I've written down thoughts here and there about the baby and since this is the first time I'm even posting anything about it on here, I hope you don't mind me sharing some of those thoughts. 

Written March 26, at 10 weeks pregnant (I thought):

"I had taken the pocket watch back from Justin, since wearing something that said “Dad” on it wasn’t so applicable anymore (since my miscarriage at 4 weeks in October).  So, I put the watch on the counter of the bathroom for him to find.  I don’t think he believed me when he saw it.  I don’t think he believed me days later when he asked if I’d taken more than that one pregnancy test.  I took another one and it was positive too!  I don’t blame him for not believing me, last time the miscarriage had come so soon, even though we’d gotten so excited.  And this time, though I knew things were different because I could feel my body changing, he couldn’t tell what was different about it.  Finally, when he could tell my body and my overall health was being affected, and because I was always talking about it, looking things up, calculating my due date and stuff, I think it finally started to sink in a little bit. 

"There’s still such a high chance of miscarriage that I think we’re still being very hesitant in our planning and excitement.  Even in the last 2 weeks I know 2 women who have miscarried who were further along than I was at the time.  It’s scary and such a sad thought, but we’ve both been promised in our patriarchal blessings that if we keep our covenants then we will be blessed with children, and mine says I’ll bear and raise them.  I know patriarchal blessings can talk about promises that happen throughout the eternities, but I’m really excited and hope they happen while Justin and I are here on earth together.  We’re trying our best to keep our covenants, love each other, and be better people so that we can create an even better home than we have now for our baby coming in October and more on the way after that.  This I do know, the more I watch and know Justin, the more excited I am to see him with his own child.  I’m so blessed!

"Now this is what our house looks like:  Pretty typical and not much change except for a huge kennel in the kitchen where Desoto sleeps, his chew toys all over the living room, and a crib and changing table in an upstairs bedroom.  There are a lot more changes to come in the coming months, but in the last one, there’s been two major ones- a dog who is going to be HUGE and a baby on the way!"

Written April 11: 

"I had been stressing every day about miscarriage and even the fact of not being pregnant at all.  I had had dreams that the doctor was going to tell me I wasn’t pregnant.  Stressing, stressing… to say the least. Our first doctor appointment came and Dr. Meredith came in and talked and joked with us for quite a while, easing my nerves a lot.  Then he was ready for the ultrasound so it was the moment of truth.  As soon as the picture popped up on the screen all I could think was, “That’s a baby.”  (not to be confused with the beautiful people and “baby” jokes my family tells).  There was a definite baby on the screen, meaning IN me!  Crazy! Justin came to stand by me and hold my hand and I just teared up, my dreams were coming true!  It had happened and was happening…we were becoming parents!  Now, typically you go to the doctor for the first time between 8 and 10 weeks of being pregnant but here I was, 11 weeks and 1 day I thought, and barely getting to the doctor because of all the insurance stuff we had had to go through.  In addition to that, the doctor measured the baby as we watched its arms and legs move around, and said that the baby measured at 12 weeks.  So, it’s not just true that I am pregnant, I’m a week ahead of what I thought I was!  I’ll take it!

"My prayers at this point are that the baby survives, and continues to grow and develop as it should so we can bring it home healthy and strong.  I know there are always possibilities for otherwise, which the Lord will strengthen Justin and I to get through it if that’s in HIS plans, but I sure hope it isn’t.  I’m excited for our baby, to help and see it grow and develop, to get to know it’s personality, to help it pursue its’ goals and dreams, to love it and cuddle it and give it everything it needs and be the best mom I can be and that it deserves.  I hope I can live up to it all for the baby’s and Justin’s sakes :)

"That's a baby" moment

Written April 16:

"Little one, we love you.  I can’t wait to feel you move.  I can’t wait to see the changes in my body more, not that I want to get fat but because it’ll mean that you’re doing well and growing as you should.  I’m scared to death about labor and delivery but I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and then have us be wrapped by the big, strong, loving arms of your dad. I have no idea what your name will be but I can’t wait until your dad blesses you.  I can’t wait to see your relationship with your dad grow and hope you love life just as much as he does.  I’m so excited to get to know you and your personality and help you achieve your dreams and goals.  I’m going to be a stickler to a lot of rules so I know I won’t be the funnest at times, but know that I’m doing it because I love you and want you to succeed, and I’m always up for playing a bunch too. I’m excited to hear and see your testimony throughout your life, even in your precious eyes when you first cross that veil and come to me.  I know there are many hard times ahead of us, but I’ll always be here for you and so will your dad, I know it. 

Grow strong, little one.  I love you."

 

Baby #1

 Okay, so he's not really our baby...but kinda :)  Let me introduce to the blogging world......Desoto!
                                    
He joined our family on President's Day in February and was 6 weeks old at the time.  He is definitely his daddy's little one, haha, because Justin is in high heaven with his new found best friend.

Riding home, exhausted and could fit in my lap! Not anymore!

First time out in the big wide world, following his new dad

Proud Papa

Desoto is a purebred great dane.  As you can see he's all black but he has a little white spot on the back of each of his front feet.

Yes, carries his own leash anytime he can

 It surprises some people who know me that I was okay with getting a dog, especially this early in our marriage and for how HUGE he's going to be, but Justin had been working on me for a while, timing and prices fit, and he was such a cutie I couldn't pass him up!  

Taken 2 weeks ago and now even bigger

Now, I do have to admit that I have had my moments when he's driven me crazy, probably because I'm a control freak and want him to be completely trained and well behaved even though he's still a puppy, but for the most part he makes me laugh and smile.  If you've met him you know, he'll melt your heart.  

Play does get rough sometimes, always with dad

Always trying to crawl on your lap to sleep

Play on the eyes- he's really not this big, thank goodness!  But for some reason looks full grown already in this! 

Sorry if it's weird for a complete post to be about a dog, but he's a big part of our lives now and will be for at least the next 7 years. :)

Desoto (17 Weeks)

Skiers!

This post is long overdue, but still necessary.  Over Christmas Break we went with my family to spend a few days at the Grand Targhee Ski Resort.  This has been a type of family tradition for a long time.  My mom and Cassi learned to ski there years and years ago, my niece Kayt learned to ski last year and this year we had 3 little skier, including Kayt again.

We had a lot of fun on the mountain, period, and were blessed with TONS of snow the first night we got there so the skiing/snowboarding was SWEET!!  One of the funnest parts was working with and watching the little girls ski and learn to ski.  By the end of the 2 days we had three promising skiers in training.  Here's some videos and pictures it all.

Kayt (6 years old)- 2nd year skiing:

Alaina (4 years old)- first year (sorry it's sideways):

Ella (3 years old)- first year:
(also notice Lainy during the first half of this video at the top left with her dad)

I don't have many pictures of all the fun, the tricks, skiing, snowboarding, sledding, hot tubing, games, good food and many laughs, plus our infamous "Nazareth Night," but this is what I do have.  As always, some of the best moments were and were not caught on tape.

In addition to Ella's dancing in her video above, this was one of the best.  Who says dancing and skiing don't mix?

Let Them Speak, and then Listen

In my work with children who have disabilities I learn many different things.  I'm always on my toes because you never know what kind of day it's going to be, and things change as the day goes on as well.  It's definitely preparing me to be a better mother when the opportunity comes, but overall my interactions with these kids is making me a better person.  

I have my days when I'm tired, frustrated and impatient.  I get tired of kids trying to push me around and needing to constantly manage behaviors, being one of the few firm hands in some of the children's lives and them fighting me every step of the way. However, there are always breakthrough moments in my day that keep me going.  These are times when the child's eyes light up for a moment because you just did something that really connects with them, they stop their behaviors for a moment and are in control of themselves, they make a connection with a task or concept they've been working on, they understand that they've succeeded, and so many other types of moments.  

Children are incredible, all of them.  Lately I've been learning a lot about acceptance.  There are a few severely autistic children who I work with and design programs for.  People with autism can be very difficult for some people to be around because tendencies and behaviors, both good and bad, are "different, weird, unusual, and even disturbing."  These tendencies cause many people to be afraid of, to look down on, or even criticize the individuals with autism or other disabilities, with no acceptance shown.  In my research and application of therapy lately I've found that the principle of SHOWING ACCEPTANCE leads to leaps and bounds of progress with people, particularly these special kids.  It's the age old, "don't judge a book by it's cover" principle because typically once you can get past the acceptance stage, you'll be surprised the incredible talents, intelligence, humor and other things that come out if you let it.  

If you think about it, when your parents, friends and others give you time to express yourself and respond to you, join with you in things you like to do, support you when you're working on something and show excitement when you succeed, you want to keep them around and respond back to them.  It's how relationships are formed in a "normal" setting, but a lot of people don't realize that that's how you can create a relationship and help people who aren't so "normal."

Last week we showed this video to our employees.  It has inspired me and I hope it does you too.  

Autistic Girl Expresses Profound Intelligence

It's not just about the kids with disabilities, though they are incredible and showing we accept them will drastically improve their lives.  It's about relationships, period.  If we believe in love and acceptance, if we want that for ourselves, then we need to show it and not just feel it for others.  That's how we make our marriages strong and not so difficult like people say they are.  It's how we help our family relations, friendships, and every interaction with a stranger on the street or in the store a fun, loving and building opportunity.  Life is good and we're in it to strengthen one another and be strengthened.  If we can show that acceptance and love to those in our personal worlds, then life will be easier to enjoy and smiles will come more naturally, and there's nothing bad about that.  

Lesson from a 5 year old

Last night while at my parents home for Sunday dinner we were hanging around the kitchen visiting when my 5 year old neice came up the stairs crying and almost in hysterics.  Kayt told us she had gotten a bad sliver from the firewood downstairs (my dad had lit a fire in the fireplace and the girls had helped out). 

Tweezers and needle were both found quickly, all the while my neice continued to get more hysterical at the thought of putting a needle in her finger.  Her mom and I, as well as my mom, all tried to reassure her and explain the process in different ways so she would realize things would be okay and the needle would actually help her.  Her cries only got louder. 

Once her mom was ready for action with needle in hand, she tried to hold Kayt's hand to get to work on the sliver but Kayt refused to give her hand up.  She pulled and squirmed like crazy, all the while crying and saying she had to do something first.  I was about ready to get up to help Kris hold her to get the sliver out when Kayt folded her arms and started to pray. 

"Dear Heavenly Father, please help get the sliver out of my finger and that I will be okay and that it won't hurt...." and she went on. 

When her prayer was done she gave her mom her finger, covered her eyes and started counting.  By the time she got to 10 her voice was noticeably calmer.  She continued counting until the sliver was out of her finger and was completely calm. 

Through the hysterics of life it can be easy to freak out and act irrationally.  It's also easy to lose patience with ourselves and others as well.  Sometimes when bad things happen we find ourselves working calmly and surely to manage and improve it, all the while learning and growing and letting our rough edges become more smooth.  Sometimes we crumble. 

Kayt's 5, actually I think she just turned 6.  She taught me a lot yesterday.  She showed that when bad things happen you can turn Heavenly Father, talk to him and ask for help, and then take a deep breath and do what you need to do to help your prayer come true.  I forget to apply this pure and simple principle more often than I'd like to admit, but am so grateful I have amazing neices who have helped me remember this and many other important things over the years.  I hope I can be the aunt and later, Mom, who can help these types of strong spirits to thrive. 

Telephone Charades

Over Christmas break Justin and I had my whole family over for dinner and games.  Both of my sisters were in town and, since everyone else wasn't as busy, it being the holidays, they were able to make it too! We had a BLAST!!

The night was filled with music and laugher as everyone took a turn playing different parts in the family band, nerf darts with the little girls, and showing our true side in charades. 

Though some were fighting colds, full stomachs, embarrassment or all of the above, how else can family help than doing things to help you relax and forget it all!

We played Telephone Charades as well as Clue Charades and both versions were way funny.  The following videos are from telephone charades as it travels through each member of the team.  See if you can quess what movie it is.

Kristen part 1

Kristen part 2

Brad

Scott

Jeff

Thanks everyone for such a memorable night!  Though we don't all live close, it's always an amazing time when we get together!  Love you all.

Yellowstone Woohoo

Today we went to Yellowstone with Justin's brother Nathan and his wife, April.  We didn't see many animals at all like we were hoping, but we did see some pretty sweet fall colors and got to spend the day with fun little girls, and Nathan and April who're pretty fun too :) We also heard some growling in the woods while Justin and I were taking a walk, I was oblivious and focusing on the pretty trees and water we were walking up to but Justin got pretty nervous.  We weren't too prepared today but will always be prepared with a gun and bear spray from now on. 

Here's some pics of our day...enjoy!

"This is a steamy hot pool, it got pretty steamy by it." -Justin (haha)

Old Faithful...classic

Mmmm...foot

Lesbian River...ask if you must know